Web Therapy 3.04 “Case Files” Recapby Shilo Adams / August 13, 2013
Fiona has a session with a very pregnant Gina, on board Austen’s private plane and heading to Paris for a shopping trip. However, she’s pretty miserable thanks to her back hurting and hatred of the “mean” women of Paris, founded on how they spit on her and won’t let her order coffee before a meal, among other issues.
Talk turns to wedding planning and Austen’s desire to have the ceremony on his Scottish estate. Gina, of course, can’t stand the thought of being in Scotland and won’t let her wedding take place there; instead, she wants a classic Greek ceremony to take place in Rome. She quickly changes her mind and decides on having the wedding in Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas, as she heard they have a lounge that’s like an ice locker where you can order vodka and freeze to death. Fiona’s not especially receptive to the idea, pointing out that Gina’s idea of having the wedding and bachelorette party at the same time leaves Austen out, but with Gina’s suggestion of them wearing tiaras and offer to pick her something up from Paris (a big black Birkin bag with an éclair inside of it), she bites her tongue.
After being unable to log in to her account with Keystone Fidelity, Fiona calls Kip, who lets her know that Ben’s insanely jealous and that the only reason he can talk right now is due to his partner being locked in his room and watching Project Runway. He assures her that the investigation into the campaign financing isn’t anything serious, reminding her that she didn’t do anything wrong and that it should all blow over here soon. However, he doesn’t know the passwords to the accounts and directs her to the briefcase that was shipped to the house, which should have them on slips of paper that Ben wrote on. Just then, Ben comes out of the bedroom, angry that Kip is talking to Fiona. He brings out the divorce petition that Stefan and Stefan, divorce attorneys who used to work in Macedonia, drew up and says that it will be sent to Fiona shortly and that she should quickly sign and get it over with. After mentioning how he hasn’t been able to sleep recently, Kip tells her that it’s not an urgent matter and goes to find Ben, who stormed off to do some ironing.
Jerome is at the New York home where he’s visiting Hayley, who’s been staying there to pick up packages/other mail and do errands. Fiona thought that her doorman was the one in charge of getting her mail and the like, so she’s both aghast that someone else has their hands on her correspondence and annoyed that she might be wasting her money paying the doorman for the extra duties. Even though Hayley has been buying her own food and replacing anything she’s been using, Fiona feels as if she and Jerome have been abusing their privileges and wants her out of the apartment as soon as possible, now that the musical has been canceled. Plus, all the stuff that was shipped home from Kip’s campaign, including the briefcase that holds the important passwords, was sold at a yard sale, meaning that Fiona now has to track down the buyer and hope that they would be willing to part with the items for a reasonable price.
It turns out that the briefcase belongs to a hoarder named Karen Sharpe, a woman who sniped it from ebay and outbid Jerome at the last second. She claims to be policing the internet and making sure that things belonging/relating to Kip fall into the right hands, but Fiona is mostly stunned to see that Karen is living in a residence resembling a warehouse and filled with the visage of her ex-husband. However, Karen compliments Fiona several times, claiming that she’s as beautiful on Skype as she is in campaign photos and that she’s honored to be speaking with her today, and gets her feeling more comfortable about the conversation. Until, that is, she states that the internet photoshopped Kip’s head onto the incriminating photos and shows Fiona some of her memorabilia, including a soil sample from a campaign stop, old takeout containers, and a copy of Kip’s favorite album, Goodbye Yellowbrick Road by Elton John.
Fiona then offers to buy the briefcase for $200 to ensure that Karen comes out ahead of this situation, but Karen is more interested in hearing about Fiona’s sex life with Kip, a “sensitive” and “considerate” lover who shut his eyes when they made love and would sometimes put a cloth over his wife’s head in the act. While Karen asks for the cloth, Fiona offers to give her a pair of Kip’s unwashed running shorts and meet with her personally to make the exchange. Karen agrees to it, as long as Fiona brings the cloth, too.
Additional thoughts and observations:
-It’s Mocktail O’Clock, everybody! I can’t even articulate how much I adore Gina and Jennifer Elise Cox’s performance. The inherent clash between her and Fiona, as well as her perception of their “friendship” and Fiona’s completely different take, is always interesting to behold and Cox’s delivery makes nearly all of her lines pop; my favorite tonight was the one about going into an ice locker to drink vodka and freeze to death, although her acting as if her feelings were hurt if Fiona wouldn’t let her bring back an éclair was also wonderful.
-So, Kip doesn’t seem particularly happy with Ben. I don’t know if he would ever go back to Fiona, especially given the investigation and scandal they’re currently embroiled in, but I’m fairly certain that he’ll be leaving New Mexico (and Ben) sometime this season.
-Given that Hayley was cheating on Jerome with Fiona’s doorman, do you think that we’ll see Rashida Jones sometime later this season? The two could come in for couple’s counseling after he found out about the affair, assuming that he caught them in the act vs. believing the excuse they gave when he knocked on the door, and it would be a good way to tie the season off, since she was involved in setting up the musical in the first place.
-Meg Ryan! She’s somebody I think would get a huge career boost from being involved in a cable comedy, so here’s hoping that this appearance is the start of a career renaissance for her.
-Next week on Web Therapy: Fiona travels to Karen’s hoarding den to perform therapy, while Robin indicates that she recorded incriminating video of Austen at the Met Gala she attended.